Wufei was six when he was sent to the special school. He carried all his scanty belongings in a pillowcase. No one else would carry them for him. He didn't want them to, anyway. He trotted along behind the man from the Home, who neither slowed down, nor checked to see that Wufei was still in tow. The man knocked on an office door, and handed some papers to the woman who appeared. She looked down and gave the boy a brief but genuine smile that left him reeling and suspicious. No authority figure had ever smiled at him before. He was just one face among hundreds in a shabby gray uniform. But someone must have noticed him, or he wouldn't have been sent here. Maybe they thought he had been bad? Another, younger woman came and led him up some stairs. She showed him to a room that he would share with three other boys. Wufei stuffed his pillowcase under the mattress, but he didn't expect it would be particularly safe there.

"Your new classmates are at recess," said the woman. "Follow me."

The playground was a large vacant lot with no equipment of any type, but it looked better than the dirt yard with barbed wire around it that he had trained in at the Home. The woman introduced him to his teacher, and she welcomed him in a kind, albeit absentminded, fashion. He bowed respectfully to her, but did not trust her or expect anything of her. Wufei walked to the middle of the playground, looking over the competition. A slightly taller boy came up to him, trailing a number of boys and girls in his wake. He had a handsome face and unruly black hair.

"Hi. I'm Tianshang. I bet I can beat you up," announced the boy with no particular enmity in his voice. He sounded, if anything, jolly. Wufei assumed a fighting stance immediately. At the Home, no one his age had ever beaten him, even the ones who didn't fight fair.

The boy easily dodged a blow that Wufei had thought was too fast to be dodged. Then he spun, kicking Wufei in the stomach and sending him sprawling in the weeds. Furious, Wufei leaped at his opponent's throat, choking him. Tianshang simply removed Wufei's hands from his neck and threw him down on the ground. How had he managed that? Wufei cursed and attempted to sweep the boy's feet out from under him, but Tianshang nimbly jumped over Wufei's leg. He was amazed and ashamed to realize that it was impossible for him to win.

Again and again, Wufei was knocked to the ground. His face was smeared with blood, and his knuckles were bleeding from a confrontation with Tianshang's teeth. Again and again, he pulled himself to his feet.

"Why don't you give up?" demanded the boy.

Wufei fell down this time without anyone's help. Darkness swirled over his eyes, and he nearly passed out. He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again. He could see all right as long as he knelt with his head down, but when he raised it, the blood rushed down, away from his head, threatening to drain his consciousness with it. He slowly, cautiously, staggered to his feet. The boy promptly knocked him down. He got up onto his hands and knees, and then stood, wobbling.

"Come on, this is gonna go on forever," urged the boy, sounding concerned. He paused, and, as there was no response, socked Wufei again. Wufei sat down hard. He glared at the boy, and stubbornly dragged himself to his feet for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"OK, I can see there's only one way to end this," said the boy cheerfully. He suddenly toppled backwards and lay motionless in the weeds. Wufei stared down at him suspiciously.

"I give up," said the boy.

"...Are you making fun of me?" asked Wufei, using his shirt to wipe the blood out of his eyes.

"No. Help me up." He held out his hand. After a moment, Wufei reached out and grasped it.

Wufei found the classes here were much more demanding than at the Home. The food was more plentiful and varied. The children were stronger and smarter. That he had been sent here filled his six year old heart with satisfaction. But one thing tormented him. Try as he might day after day, month after month, he could not beat Tianshang. For every thing Wufei could do better, such as math, and balancing, and memorizing information, there were twelve things Tianshang could do better. It was unacceptable. It hurt.

Freed from class by the clanging of a bell, Wufei ran out onto the playground, and began his first circuit of the yard. He noticed Tianshang lying on his stomach, concentrating on something small and shiny. Well, Wufei had no time for play. He ran on, the cool breeze pleasant against his face even as it tried to slow him down. He started on his second lap of the playground, little legs pumping. Tianshang called out to him as he dashed by on the third lap. Wufei ignored him and ran on, as fast as he could. At last his legs collapsed and he went down hard onto his knees. He rolled over on his back and stared unseeing at the sky, his panting breaths seeming to rip his lungs. Almost eleven laps today. Good. If he pushed himself to the edge every day, maybe eventually he would go over it and see what was on the other side. If nothing else, it would be a great view on the way down.

Tianshang came over and threw himself down beside his friend.

"Here, I made one for you." He held out a tiny silver object. Heart still racing, Wufei reached out for it. He sat up to examine it. It was a doll, folded out of a foil gum wrapper that Tianshang must have found.

"It's a Mobile Suit," Tianshang whispered, impressed by his own creation.

"A Mobile Suit?" asked Wufei, trying out the unfamiliar words.

"Yeah, see, this is the cockpit." He excitedly demonstrated the opening and closing action of the flap torn in its chest.

"A man rides in there?" Wufei could see a tiny stick figure drawn in smudged pencil on the white side of the paper. The stick figure had a little ponytail, just like Wufei's.

"Yeah. Look, here's mine." He carefully stood another foil doll up against a rock. "See? They can fight!"

Wufei laughed, and made his Mobile Suit fight with Tianshang's. Then he stopped, looking serious.

"Why do they fight?"

"Why? That's what they're for."

"But how come? What are they fighting for?"

"Oh, to free the colonies from the bad people," he assured Wufei, straightening out a limb that had become twisted in the fray.

"Then why are they fighting each other?"

Tianshang blinked, at a loss for a moment. Then he smiled.

"They're practicing, to get strong enough to smash the bad people!"

When they were eight, a man in a lab coat came for them and drove them away in the back of a van. The two boys looked at each other, but did not ask any questions. They sat side by side on the wooden floor of the van for hours, Tianshang dropping off to sleep and Wufei running through some mental exercises. The vehicle hit a bump, and Tianshang slid into Wufei and leaned against him, still asleep. Wufei opened one eye, looking at him, and then ignored him and returned to his mental routine. Finally they were let out, in what looked like a military camp. A man took them into a shed, where two old motorcycles stood, one black, and one yellow.

"These are for you," said the man.

"We can ride them?" asked Tianshang in awe, rubbing his eyes. Wufei ran a finger along the rusted chrome of the handlebar, and across the seat from which stuffing was escaping. There must be a catch. No one ever gave him anything. Except Tianshang. The other boy had already climbed up onto the black one. His little hands squeezed the handlebars as he pretended to drive it.

"It doesn't go," he said.

"No. You have to fix them first," the man explained.

"Are you going to teach us how?" asked Tianshang, eyes bright.

The man handed them each a wrench.

"Start taking them apart."

Wufei stared at what seemed a monstrously huge machine.

"How much of it?"

"All of it. As much as you can. I'll be back tomorrow." The man left, closing the shed door behind him. Tianshang's face broke into a grin.

"This is gonna be great!"

Wufei had his reservations.

"Why do these people want us to learn how to fix motorcycles?"

"Who the hell cares? Don't you want to learn how? Don't you want to ride one?!" He laughed. "It'll be like we imagined when we used to play with those gum wrapper Mobile Suits! ...Wufei?"

Wufei was already tugging at the bolt that held the wheel on.

No one came to feed them that day, but neither of them noticed.

After motorcycles, it was trucks. Then battered helicopters. Then it was Mobile Suits, seemingly pulled from a scrap heap. Always one for each of them. They learned all there was to know about their vehicles. They struggled to master the controls under the influence of drugs and with the aid of surgery. They were indoctrinated and enhanced. They programmed computers and hacked them. They practiced with swords and guns. They raided Federation outposts. They killed their first enemy soldiers on the same night. Tianshang's had insulted him. Wufei's had offered him a glass of water and commented on the hot weather. There was always one for each. And finally, there was the Gundam, and there was only one. Shenlon. Nataku.

The Gundam awed them both. The scientists and technicians stepped up the drugs and trained them on it eighteen hours a day. They were on edge, held to an unnatural peak of alertness and concentration, ready for anything for way too long. It was no wonder Wufei snapped under the pressure. One day he dragged Tianshang out of the cockpit and slammed the surprised boy with his fists, over and over.

"Nataku is mine, you bastard!" he screamed. The technicians watched, discussing quietly among themselves. Tianshang lay underneath him, angry, but not fighting back. He shielded his face with his arm.

"Nataku is mine! I can't stand to see you in her! It makes me sick!" Wufei could feel the drugs galloping through his veins like runaway horses along the edge of a precipice. "Keep your filthy hands off her! I want to sleep with her! I want to pilot her! I want to die in her arms!"

He was vaguely aware of the doctors' voices saying, "He can't handle 45 cc's. Cut it back to 42."

Tianshang grabbed his wrists.

"Shenlon deserves the best, Wufei. We have to fight OZ with the best we've got. That may be you, but not if you're going to crack under the drugs. Shit, Wufei, pull yourself together! I don't want to see you out of control like this." His sharp voice jarred Wufei out of his drug-enhanced jealousy, and he slumped against the cockpit, exhausted and ashamed.

"Get in," said Tianshang, more gently. "It's your turn, anyway."

Months passed, the precious days running through their fingers. There was no time. They had to be ready for something called "Operation Meteor." The gap between Wufei and Tianshang was narrowing. Wufei's performance was improving, while Tianshang's held more or less steady. They had hit a wall with the amount of drugs they could tolerate. Wufei had finally forced his body to accept 60 cc's, and Tianshang couldn't handle anything over 55, even though his body was larger. But although Wufei was coming closer and closer to Tianshang's level of performance, it seemed he could never actually get there. They were both having nightmares. They were both at the very edge of their limits.

They were fifteen years old. The two of them were huddled over a laptop computer in an abandoned cabin, receiving their orders. They bent close to read the small print, both with the same dark hair, one boy's thick and unkempt, the other's slicked back into a neat ponytail. Tomorrow morning Tianshang was to infiltrate a secret training facility and steal some computer disks, while Wufei was to wait outside, keeping him informed of enemy activity. And should Tianshang fail, he was to get the disks himself.

"Why must I stay behind and wait?" demanded Wufei.

"Don't question the orders," shrugged Tianshang.

"I have never been as good as you," whispered Wufei bitterly. "That's why."

Tianshang pondered this.

"But if it weren't for you, for a worthy rival like you, I would be much weaker than I am. You push me to be my best. And if it weren't for me always beating you, you wouldn't try so hard, either," he said thoughtfully.

"You don't ever doubt yourself," Wufei said in a low voice, looking down. "I wish I could be as strong as you. Damn it, I try and try, all my life..." He sat on the edge of the dirty cot, head bowed, his hands closing into fists on his knees.

"You have a sense of honor, Wufei, that I don't begin to understand," commented Tianshang. "You study while I sleep. You practice while I play around. You run while I walk."

"Yes, but you get there faster. I'm just here to help you train. I'm just here as a back-up, in case something happens to you... There are two of us, but only one Gundam. It's your Gundam, Tianshang."

"Wufei... But you're the one who sleeps in the cockpit."

"You're the best. It is right for you to have it. I am unworthy."

Tianshang gazed into Wufei's troubled eyes.

"What are you doing?" asked Wufei, alarmed, as Tianshang pushed him gently down on the cot.

"I'm showing you something."

"I- ah- I don't think I want to see it."

Tianshang laughed.

"You've beaten me, Chang Wufei, without even trying. I lost to you the first day I ever met you."

"Please do not make fun of me."

"Wufei!" Tianshang knelt down beside the cot and leaned over him. Wufei struggled to get up.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you're afraid," said Tianshang softly.

Wufei lay stiffly on the cot and submitted to the long kiss, showing no outward response to Tianshang's mouth on his. But inside, his mind swam with confusion. A small river of warmth began to flow outward from his mouth, across his face, and down his neck. Slowly it made its way through his chest, and then flooded the bottom of his stomach in a sudden swirling rush. Finally it washed through his arms and legs, making him clench his hands and toes. It felt like a new drug. Tianshang smiled down into his flushed face and began to unbutton Wufei's shirt.

Wufei couldn't find his strength. He tried to resist, or thought he tried, but he had no means to do it. It was strange, because Tianshang was not physically holding him down. Wufei lay helpless, gazing up at Tianshang, lost in the frightening sensations of his own body. He felt the other boy's hands lifting his head, unfastening his little ponytail, his fingers running through his loosed hair. He felt the weight of Tianshang on top of him. Then the boy pushed himself up and bowed his head, and Wufei looked up through a haze of feelings to see a tear drip from Tianshang's hidden face down onto Wufei's stomach. It trickled down into his navel.

"I love you, Chang Wufei," whispered Tianshang. "You see? This is how you've beaten me. You think only of the cause. You would sacrifice anything for it. But I... "

Wufei stared up at him in amazement. Tianshang flung himself on Wufei, head buried against his neck, and after a moment Wufei felt his hot tongue against his throat. He closed his eyes. Tianshang explored him, testing as if to see how he was put together, and how he could best be taken apart and fixed. Wufei thought he could indeed feel himself loosening and coming apart, but he knew he could not be fixed. It took quality materials to make a quality machine, and no amount of coaxing of the programming and teasing of the control settings would make up for it.

"Wufei," Tianshang breathed. "I want to give you the Gundam. I want you to have it."

Wufei's eyes flashed, and he slapped the other boy as hard as he could.

"Nataku must be flown by the best man!"

"...And you see by my irrational remarks that I am not the best," said Tianshang, kissing Wufei on the mouth to forestall any more argument. Wufei gave a small sigh, like the sigh of someone surrendering to sleep. For this one moment out of his life, he decided, he would not fight. He slowly relaxed under Tianshang's gentle hands and mouth. He didn't quite understand why he was doing this, but if Tianshang wanted it, he would submit. He certainly owed him, for many things. It felt right. It felt good. As their bodies tumbled and pressed against each other, he thought of foil dolls shining in the little hands of their pilots, colliding, backing off, becoming entangled, rolling over each other. He wondered, was this what Tianshang had been playing at all this time while Wufei had thought only of fighting? Had Tianshang been harboring this secret weakness all these years?

He found himself wrapping his arms and legs around the other boy, pressing close to his hot skin. He had been altered; they both had. But it was still human flesh, more or less. His mouth was a human mouth, although it tasted faintly of the chemicals that circulated through their bodies. His hands were smooth and unscarred, though Wufei knew the exact location of each implant, having the same chips and electrodes and suicide devices under his own skin. His eyes were human eyes, despite the purpose that had been burned into them. Tianshang took him over the edge, the two of them falling endlessly together.

The mission was too dangerous. Tianshang was shot repeatedly. He couldn't make it out, so Wufei went in after him and dragged him out, ignoring Tianshang's broken voice telling him to just take the disks. Wufei threw him onto the motorcycle and sped off through the trees, his customized engine making barely a sound. He swerved off into a shallow stream, and drove in it for some miles, leaving no tracks to be followed. When they were far enough away from the Federation compound, Wufei carried Tianshang to a grassy spot and laid him down.

"I'm dying, aren't I?" asked Tianshang in a faint, harsh voice. Blood seeped out of his mouth as he spoke. One hand clenched slowly. The other was mangled and useless.

Wufei stroked his tousled hair and nodded.

"...I didn't mean to..." observed Tianshang. "I wonder if....the trainers will be...angry..."

"Why would they be angry?" asked Wufei soothingly.

"I...I switched the orders. You were supposed to go...into the...facility..."

"It's okay," Wufei assured him, although he couldn't think of a single thing that was okay. His chest felt horribly squeezed, and he felt sick.

"Shenlon... is yours..." whispered Tianshang. "Please... love Shenlon."

Wufei bent down to kiss him, thinking that Tianshang would like it. His mouth filled with the other boy's blood, and he noticed that it tasted just like his own. Tianshang's eyes fluttered shut and he smiled.

"Now... you are...the best..."

He buried Tianshang in the middle of the forest. In the boy's good hand he slipped the little foil doll that he had kept all these years for some reason, and he left the grave unmarked so the scientists and doctors couldn't have him. Tianshang had given him the only toy he had ever owned. Tianshang had been the only person to love him. Wufei swore that he would become worthy of these gifts. Even if it was impossible, he would succeed. He would transcend his weak, flawed body and mind, and become perfect. How could he hurt so badly and feel so numb at the same time?

That night he slept alone curled under a tree. He saw himself as a six year old boy, running after Tianshang, unable to catch up, the uneven ground of the school yard flying by under his feet. Next, he was maybe ten, running across the pocked, scarred surface of some asteroid, lungs burning from the speed he was forcing himself to, and still unable to catch up. Now they were older still, on motorcycles. And then he saw the cliff's edge before them, and the nothingness beyond it, and he swerved, trying to slow himself, as Tianshang drove straight ahead, going over the edge without him. An explosion of fire billowed up from the bottom of the cliff, and as Tianshang plunged over, the flames rose to wrap around him, enfolding him and carrying him down. Wufei awoke, heart pounding, hearing Tianshang's words: Now you are the best.

He headed back to the base, to report that the mission had been a success. He didn't want to leave Tianshang, but Nataku was waiting for him. The colonies were waiting for him. His destiny was waiting for him, Tianshang's last gift.